Sunday, April 25, 2010

Swift vs. Cyrus: Starlet Smackdown

I recently fell off the Miley bandwagon.

In and of itself, that's nothing spectacular. A girl my age - and with my taste in music - has no business being on it in the first place. There was no one event that jolted me off of the notorious, blinged-out Conestoga wagon, but I began to realize that two processes were acting in opposite directions. (Isaac Newton, anyone?) As my distaste for Miley Cyrus began to fester, I started to really enjoy Taylor Swift.

Weird, right? The two singers market to almost exactly the same audience, so you’d think I wouldn’t care much for either of them. Nevertheless, I’ve been steadily expanding my T-Swift iTunes collection. Whenever I’m feeling like some upbeat, happy music, I put Fearless on shuffle and bebop my way to contentment. But what exactly is it about Taylor Swift that is so appealing?


First, there’s her voice. Realistically speaking, she doesn’t have the strongest pipes in the music industry. She’ll probably never be able to out-belt Martina McBride. But neither will Miley, who seems to have spontaneously lost the ability to sing high notes.

But Taylor sounds natural. Her voice isn’t over-embellished by studio tweaks or Auto-Tune. She knows her range and sticks to it. She doesn’t punctuate every phrase with an exhale (an off-putting habit of Michelle Branch and many other female singers) or try to melt your brain with excessive, gratuitous runs (Mariah Carey). She doesn’t sneer her way through mindless, half-rap mish-mashes (Ke$ha). She just sings. And that, in a world where music has become about commercial appeal more than talent, is engaging.

There are her lyrics. Miley now alternates between screeching about clubs, fame, and swinging hips and crooning screeching about how awful her life is, but how much better her new boyfriend makes her feel. (I’ll talk more about him later.)

Taylor Swift wrote almost every song she’s released, many with sole credit, and it shows. Maybe she’s not the next Tennyson, but what teenage girl could claim that? She sings about the exhilaration of a new crush, spite after being treated poorly, longing after feeling left out. First kisses, daydreaming, and dancing in the rain wearing a pretty dress. Feelings that are strong both in her world and in ours. Feelings that everyone can relate to. Her best songs are her happiest, and they make other happy – the lyrics are light and enjoyable, but when they do turn sour, they sound frank rather than whiny. She sings about what she knows, and because of that, we feel what she feels.

And there’s her handle over the media. Miley’s tabloid escapades are many, ranging from her 19-year-old not-boyfriend to the infamous Vanity Fair bed sheet photoshoot. The media has become almost vicious in a way it hasn’t been since the muckraking days, and it’s rare that any celebrity manages to avoid its clutches.

But Taylor Swift has come out surprisingly unscathed. She doesn’t thrust her political views out there for everyone to see and then delete her Twitter account because she can’t handle answering for it. She doesn’t whine about being criticized. She doesn’t claim that she and her hottie co-star arm candy are “deeper than normal people.” (Really? How pretentious can you get?!) She doesn’t dye her hair black after a highly publicized breakup, as if looking for even more attention. Swift has had two fairly high-profile relationships, but neither generated any real controversy. She wrote Joe Jonas out of her life with one of her catchiest songs and laughed off both former BFs on SNL. She’s been very smart about how she acts and handles her stardom well. The media can’t even touch her.

Her clothes. Sounds shallow, I know, but attire has become a real issue for stars who are raked over the coals for an ugly getup and praised like a god for a particularly fancy designer dress.

All of the sudden, Miley’s “modest is hottest” motto seems to have been tossed out the window. Shorts have been getting progressively shorter and tops less and less substantial. The human body is a beautiful thing, but there is a way to show it off without flaunting or exploiting it. Taylor Swift’s clothes are classy and age-appropriate, and always fitting to the occasion.

There’s her attitude. We all remember her acceptance speech at the CMAs, where she said that getting the Horizon Award was “definitely the highlight of her senior year.” Her naiveté, humility, and youthful sincerity were endearing, and as she’s matured, appeal that hasn’t waned.

Miley recently told the world she wouldn’t go country because of the “politics.” (Side note: Honestly, what genre is farther from being political?) Miley Cyrus seems to try way too hard to shed the Mouseketeer image and become an “artist.” But poignant expressions and headbanging don’t make a dull song more appealing. (I refer to her performance on American Idol a few weeks ago, so I’ll borrow a term from Simon Cowell. I think it’s rather fitting: “indulgent.”)

Taylor Swift doesn’t seem to have a problem with picky fans, unrealistic expectations, or the world out to get her. She seems to approach everything with a smile. Sappy, I know, but it’s something that should happen more often. She doesn’t expect to be treated specially. But she’s gracious when she is.

And finally, there’s her normalcy. (Yes, I just used the word normalcy. Bear with me.)

I won’t say that Miley Cyrus was cast in Hannah Montana because of her father, but it had to have been a factor. (Nothing against Billy Ray. Who can’t resist a little toe-tapping to “Achy Breaky Heart”?) Her dad was a star years ago, and her older brother is getting there too. Now her youngest sister is acting too. That kind of recognition has to have an impact on their family.

Taylor Swift, on the other hand, is a normal person. She was raised by normal (and extremely supportive) parents, has normal siblings, and went to a normal school. She knows who she is. She is balanced, happy, and real.

I don’t think I’m the only teenage girl who’s become disillusioned with Miley Cyrus and celebrities in general. Taylor Swift is an artist that stands out because she’s not a typical celebrity.

I was raised on country music, so I’ll always be partial to it. And Swift’s wholesome image and added humanity is even more satisfying.


My top 10 Taylor Swift songs:

1. Jump Then Fall

2. Fearless

3. Forever and Always

4. You Belong With Me

5. Love Story

6. Picture to Burn

7. White Horse

8. Should've Said No

9. Our Song

10. Teardrops on My Guitar

Sunday, April 11, 2010

In Defense of Bristol Palin

Here’s a shocker for you: the mainstream media is raking Bristol Palin over the coals again. This time, though, it’s not because she had a child as an unmarried teenager, or even because her mother is one of the most formidable (and charming) enemies of the Left. It’s because she’s supporting abstinence for teens.

Really?

Apparently Bristol said in an interview a while back that teen abstinence is “unrealistic.” So, obviously, she’s going against her word – and revealing a shockingly depraved moral character – by encouraging it anyway.

Again: Really?

Curing cancer in the next few years is unrealistic. So let’s just not bother trying. Stopping crime is unrealistic. So why don’t we let all the murderers run free and keep killing people?

I’m pretty sure that when Bristol said “unrealistic,” she meant that it’s impossible to stop all teenagers everywhere from having sex before marriage. (From the conversations I hear around my college campus, I’m regrettably inclined to agree.) But if just a few abortions can be prevented, if just a few girls can be saved from growing up too soon, then we have done something right.

Watch the PSA: